老友記全十季臺詞劇本百度云;老友記劇本中英對照劇本講解百度云

不…不唱了，我們不唱了

No, no, we're done. We're done, man.

十二碗面條

Friends S01E12: The One with the Dozen Lasagnas

（主演：詹妮弗·安妮斯頓）

（主演：柯特妮·考克斯）

（主演：麗莎·庫卓）

（主演：馬特·勒布朗）

（主演：馬修·派瑞）

（主演：大衛·修蒙）

是嗎？那就別叫

Aunt Silv, stop yelling.

如果你告訴我素食千層面

All I'm saying is, if you had told me vegetarian lasagna...

我做的就是素食千層面

...I would've made vegetarian lasagna.

（制片：陶德·史帝芬）

肉只在第三層

Well, the meat's only every third layer.

或許你可以刮掉

Maybe you could scrape.

羅斯，這些嬰兒書你真的都看過

Ross, did you really read all these baby books?

對，你可以將我推進子宮的任何部位

Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus...

（導演：保羅·拉左洛斯）

沒有指南針

...no compass...

我照樣能找到出路

...and I could find my way out like that.

這個真酷

Ooh, this is cool.

這上面說 世上有些民族會吃胎盤

It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.

酸奶吃不下了

And we're done with the yogurt.

抱歉

Sorry.

我只是幫你忙 我不承包外食

Aunt Silv, I did this as a favor. I am not a caterer.

一大堆千層面 你要我怎么處理

What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas?

說得好，西薇阿姨

Nice talk, Aunt Silv.

你用那張嘴親姨丈嗎

You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?

嘿，羅斯，聽著

Hey, Ross, listen.

知道你的寶寶現在只有這么大嗎

Do you know that right now your baby is only this big?

- 這是你的寶寶 - 嘿

- This is your baby. - Heh.

爸

Hi, Daddy.

你好

Hello.

你怎么不和媽住在一起

How come you don't live with Mommy?

媽怎會和別的女人住在一起

How come Mommy lives with that other lady?

女同志是什么

What's a lesbian?

（“意大利語”）

保羅，你可以說“波克諾斯”，波克諾斯

Honey, you can say it. It's Poconos. Poconos.

聽著發音像“捅鼻子”

It's like "poke a nose."

嗯

Ah.

波克諾斯

Poke a nose.

叭啦 叭啦 叭啦

Blah, blah, blah.

- 我聽到波克諾斯 - 對

- So did I hear "Poconos"? - Yes.

我姐讓我們在她的房子度周末

My sister's giving us her place for the weekend.

嗚呼，第一次外出共度周末

Woo-hoo. First weekend away together.

- 對，重要的一大步 - 我知道

- Yeah, it's a big step. - I know.

只是個周末 了不起

It's just a weekend. Big deal.

那不只是一時的激情嗎

Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh?

現在激情不是

Shouldn't it be...

已該退去

...flung by now?

我們早已過了激情期

I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing.

我現在的感覺只有在

I'm feeling things I've only read about...

丹尼爾史帝的書中才能看到

...in Danielle Steel books, you know?

和他在一起時我就完全…

I mean, when I'm with him, I'm just totally, totally...

惡心，我惡心死了

Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous.

我該怎么做？打電話給移民局

What am I supposed to do, huh? Call lmmigration?

我可以打電話給移民局

I could call lmmigration.

我喜歡小寶寶穿著小鞋

I love babies with their little baby shoes...

還有他們小腳趾及小手

...and their little baby toes and their little hands...

別再說了

Okay, you're gonna have to stop that...

永遠別

...forever.

我們需要一張新桌子

Need a new table.

你認為嗎？

You think?

- 嘿，嘿，請進 - 嗨，你好

CAROL: Hey, hey, hey. Come on in. - Hey. Hello.

我把書都帶來了

I brought the books...

這些千層面是摩妮卡特地做的

...and Monica sends her love along with this lasagna.

太好了

Oh, great.

是素食嗎？因為蘇珊不吃肉

Is it vegetarian? Because Susan doesn't eat meat.

我確定是

I'm pretty sure that it is. Yeah.

羊膜刺穿術的結果今天出來了

So I got the results of the amnio today.

快告訴我… 是不是？

Oh, tell me. Is everything?

完完全全健康

Totally and completely healthy.

- 哦，太好了， 太好了 - 哈哈

- Oh, that's great. That is great. - Ha, ha.

啊

Ah.

嗨，你們何時遇見休路易斯的？

Hey. When did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?

那是我朋友坦雅

Uh, that's our friend Tanya.

當然是你朋友坦雅

Of course it's your friend Tanya.

難道你不想知道性別

Don't you wanna know about the sex?

性

The sex?

你和蘇珊在一起 已經讓我夠痛心了

Yeah, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together.

你何時起也和坦雅…

But when you throw in Tanya...

羅斯，是寶寶的性別

The sex of the baby, Ross.

你知道寶寶的性別

Oh. You know the sex of the baby?

- 啊-哦 - 噢 噢 噢

- Uh-huh. - Oh, oh, oh!

- 想知道嗎 - 不 不 不

- Do you want to know? - No, no, no.

不…我不想知道，絕對不想知道

No, I don't want to know. Absolutely not.

我認為直到它呱呱落地后…

No, I think you shouldn't know until you look down there...

看，“它出來了”

...and see, "Oh, there it is."

或是沒有

Or isn't.

- 哦，你好，羅斯 - 蘇珊

- Oh. Hello, Ross. - Susan.

那么

So?

你聽說了嗎？

So did you hear?

聽說了，一切良好

Yes, we did. Everything's A-okay.

太好了

Oh, that's so cool.

可不是嗎，哈哈

CAROL: It really is. Ha, ha.

我們知道嗎？

Do we know?

- 當然知道，它是個… - 嗨，嗨！

- We certainly do. It's going to be a... - Hey, hey!

嘿，喂

Ho, ho! Hello?

有個不想知道的人就站在這兒

See, a guy who doesn't wanna know standing right here.

哦，呵，那么，和我們想的一樣嗎？

Oh. Ha, ha. Uh, well, is it what we thought it would be?

- 嗯 - 啊！

- Mm-hm. - Aah!

什么

What?

好，你們認為它應該是？ 不 不 不

Okay, what did we think it' was gonna be? No, no, no.

我不想知道 不想知道，行不

I don't want to know. Don't want to know. Okay.

或許我該走了

You know, I should probably just go.

謝謝你的書 不客氣

- Well, thanks for the books. - No problem. Okay.

蘇珊

Susan.

該先打電話給誰？ 你父母還是戴文羅馬納

All right, who should we call first? Your folks or Deb and Rhona?

喂？

Hello?

呃…

ROSS: Uh...

算了，我不想知道

Never mind. I don't wanna know.

因為那是我的桌子 我就得買一張新的？

Okay, so just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?

那是規定

That's the rule.

什么規定？根本就沒規定

What rule? There's no rule.

如果有，你欠我一張桌子

If anything, you owe me a table.

你怎會這樣認為？

How did you get there?

這張桌子是你和安琪拉

I believe this piece of furniture was fine...

在“早餐冒險”時弄壞的

...until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.

你知道那件事

You knew about that?

從你們在奶油上留下的痕跡

The impressions you made in the butter...

便可一覽無遺

...left little to the imagination.

好吧，平均分攤

Okay, okay. How about if we split it?

什么意思 一起買

What do you mean, like, buy it together?

對

Yeah.

你認為我們準備好了嗎

Do you think we're ready for something like that?

有何不可 這是個很重要的承諾

- Why not? - Well, it's just a big commitment.

如果有人想搬出呢

I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?

為什么 你想搬出去 我沒想要搬

- Why, are you moving out? - I'm not moving out.

你想搬時會告訴我 對不

You'd tell me if you were moving out, right?

對，因為我上個室友基普…

Yes, it's just that, with my last roommate...

基普的事我全知道

Oh, I know all about Kip.

我們合買了日式小炭爐

We bought a hibachi together,

后來他結婚搬出去

and then he ran off and got married...

我們鬧得很不愉快

...and things got pretty ugly.

我問你

So let me ask you something.

基普是個比我好的室友嗎？

Was Kip a better roommate than me?

求你別問

Oh, don't do that.

你的工作表稍有調整

You've got a couple changes in your schedule.

四點的藥草按摩延到四點半

Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30.

桑小姐已取消五點半的指壓

And Ms. Summerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.

謝謝

Okay. Thanks.

三點的客戶來了

Oh. Here comes your 3:00.

我不想表現得不夠專業 但…

I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum.

（意大利文）菲比？

哦，保羅，嗨，你來這兒干嗎？

Oh. Paolo. Hi. What are you doing here?

瑞秋告訴我你是…

Uh, Rachella tell me you...

…按摩師？

...massage?

對，瑞秋說得對…

Yeah, well, Rachella's right. Yeah.

（意大利文）

噢

Oh.

我聽不懂你在說什么 咱們還是開始吧

Okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's just start.

我要，呃…

Uh, I am, uh...

…脫光嗎？

...being naked?

你自己決定

Um, that's really your decision.

有些人喜歡脫衣…裸體

I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...

喔！裸體

Ooh, oops! Being naked.

我無法想像你不愿知道

I can't believe you don't want to know.

我受不了不知道

I mean, I could not know.

如果醫生知道 卡蘿知道,蘇珊知道…

I mean, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows...

摩妮卡也知道

And Monica knows.

你怎會知道？連我都不知道

Heh. How could you? I don't even know.

卡蘿來電感謝我的千層面

Carol called to thank me for the lasagna.

我問她，她就告訴我了

I asked. She told me.

男的還女的？

So, what's it going to be?

哇

Whoa.

啊？哦，真厲害 他知道而我卻不知道

Huh? Oh, great. Now he knows and I don't know.

抱歉，我只是 快當姑姑而興奮過度

I'm sorry. I'm just excited about being an aunt.

或是叔叔

Or an uncle.

嘿，菲比…

GROUP: Hey, Phoebe. Hey, Pheebs.

還好

Fine.

菲比，怎么了

Phoebe, what's the matter?

沒事，抱歉

Nothing. I'm sorry.

我只是…我心情不好

I'm just... I'm out of sorts.

能端杯卡布其諾過來嗎

Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here?

糟了，是我

Oh, right. That's me.

錢德，賣桌子的七點關門

Hey, Chandler. That table place closes at 7. Come on.

那好

Fine.

菲比，怎么了

Phoebe. What is it?

- 好吧，你們認識保羅吧？ - 他那一招我很清楚

- You know Paolo? - I'm familiar with his work, yes.

他勾引我

Look, he made a move on me.

- 店明天還會再開 - 再來杯咖啡

- Whoa. The store will be open tomorrow. - More coffee over here, please.

怎么了？

Well, what happened?

他來店里按摩

Well, he came in for a massage...

一開始沒事后來…

...and everything was fine until...

- 天啊 - 你確定？

- My God. - Are you sure?

確定

Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

他的手突然不再是問題了

And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.

是嗎？

Was it?

幼童軍都能在那兒露營了

Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.

喔

GROUP: Ooh.

- “喔”什么啊？ - 瑟曼…

- "Ooh," what? - Ma Thurman.

- 哦 - 那個女演員

- Oh. - The actress.

鄔瑪·瑟曼

Uma Thurman!

謝了，瑞秋

Thanks, Rach.

- 你有何打算？ - 你得告訴她

- What are you gonna you do? - You have to tell her.

你得告訴她 這是當朋友和女人基本的義務

You have to tell her. It's your moral obligation as a friend...

我認為這是女性主義的議題 各位男士

...as a woman. I think it's a feminist issue. Guys? Guys?

對，你得告訴她

Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.

女性主義？ 我也曾遭遇過

Feminist issue? That's where I went.

她會恨我的

She is gonna hate me.

是嗎

Yeah, well.

隨便挑一張好嗎

Will you pick one? Just pick one.

這個如何

Here, how about that one?

這是庭院家具

That's patio furniture.

那又怎樣 人家進門后會認為 “我又在外面”嗎

So what? Like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again."

行

Fine.

鳥呢

What about the birds?

我不知道 鳥不會說：

I don't know. Birds just don't say:

哈羅，坐這兒，吃點東西

"Hello, sit here. Eat something."

你挑一張吧

You pick one.

好，瓢蟲呢

How about the ladybugs?

拋下鳥不管，只因紅色昆蟲 可以增加食欲？

Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining?

行，你想買鳥，就買鳥吧

Fine. Do you want the birds? Get the birds.

別以為我不會

Not like that, I won't.

基普一定是喜歡鳥的

Kip would've liked the birds.

- 嗨 - 嗨，菲比

- Hey. - Hi, Pheebs.

你要搬走

Are you moving out?

不是，這些不全是我的行李箱

No, these aren't all of my suitcases.

這是保羅的

This one's Paolo's.

唔

Um...

瑞秋，能和你談談嗎？

Um, Rachel, can we talk for a sec?

當然，但只能聊一會兒

Well, sure. Just for a sec, though...

…因為保羅馬上就來 - 噢

...because Paolo's on his way over. - Oh.

好的，唔…

Okay. Um...

好的

Okay.

唔…

Um...

- 哦，菲比… - 唔，好的

- Oh, Pheebs... - Um, okay.

我們認識的時間并不是很久

Um, ahem. We haven't known each other for that long a time.

你應該知道我的三件事

And, um, there are three things that you should know about me.

第一，在我生命中朋友是最重要

One, my friends are the most important thing in my life.

第二，我從不說謊

Two, I never lie.

第三，我做的燕麥葡萄干餅干天下第一

And three, I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.

謝謝，菲比

Okay. Thanks, Pheebs.

天啊

Mm, my God.

我怎么沒吃過

Why have I never tasted these before?

我并不常做

Oh, I don't make them a lot...

因為這樣 對其他餅干太不公平了

...because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.

嗯，老天

Ahem, God.

你說得對，這是我吃過 最好吃的燕麥葡萄干餅干

Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal-raisin cookies I've ever had.

- 這證明我絕不說謊 - 沒錯

- Which proves that I never lie. - I guess you don't.

保羅向我調情

Paolo made a pass at me.

那，你認為如何

So, what do you think?

這是我見過最漂亮的桌子

I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.

我知道

I know.

怎么用？

So how does this work?

打算用這些小頭平衡盤子

Gonna balance the plates on these little heads?

誰在乎 我們在水槽吃 來吧

Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on.

加油，羅斯

Heads up, Ross.

得分，你們好爛

Score! You suck.

你還好吧？

Are you okay?

我要喝牛奶

I need some milk.

我有牛奶

I've got milk.

來了

Here you go.

好點沒

Better?

沒有

No.

我覺得自己好愚蠢

Ugh! I feel so stupid.

我想起前幾天和你們在一起時

I think about the other day, with you guys, you know.

我總是說：“保羅，他好棒

And I was all, "Oh, Paolo. He's so great.

他讓我好…” 噢！

He makes me feel so..." Ugh!

天

God.

真是丟人

I'm so embarrassed.

我也覺得丟人

I'm so embarrassed.

他的目標是我

I'm the one he hit on.

菲比，都是我造成的 如果我不認識他

I unleashed him on you. If I'd never met him...

你就不會發生這種事

...this would've never happened.

- 對不起 - 不，對不起…

- I'm so sorry. - No, I'm sorry.

對不起

BOTH: No, I'm sorry.

等等

Oh, wait. Oh.

- 我們在抱歉什么？ - 我也不知道

- What are we sorry about? - I don't know.

對，他是一條豬

Right. He's the pig.

- 豬 - 他是一頭豬

- Such a pig. - Oh, God, he's such a pig.

- 哦，他是… 一條惡心的豬 - 對，像…

- Oh, he's like a big disgusting pig... - Yeah, like a...

- 豬人 - 說得好

- Pig man. - Yes, good. Okay.

但他是我的豬人

Oh, but he was my pig man.

為何我之前沒感覺到

How did I not see this?

我知道了

Oh, I know!

因為…

Because...

他是個迷死人的

...he's gorgeous.

大帥哥

And he's charming.

- 當他看著你時… - 夠了,菲比

- And when he looks at you... - Okay. Okay, Pheebs.

到此為止

The end.

天啊

Ugh. God.

我不該告訴你嗎

Should I not have told you?

不，相信我 還是讓我知道比較好

No, trust me, it's much better that I know.

但我比較喜歡從前 從前比較好

Uh, I just liked it better before. It was better.

我想她已坦然接受

I think she took it pretty well.

保羅在那兒

You know, Paolo's over there right now, so...

我們該過去看她的情況如何

Yeah, we should get over there and see if she's okay.

等等

Just one second.

- 喔，得分 - 我們贏了

- Whoo! Score. - Game. Us.

是啊

Yes.

走吧，菲比

Come on, Pheebs.

呼

Whoo.

看來我們痛宰你們了

Well, it looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.

才怪，是她痛宰我們

No, no. She kicked our butts.

你只能算是觀眾

You could be on the Olympic "Standing There" team.

來嘛，兩個對一個

Come on. Two on one.

你為何還待在這兒？ 她剛和人分手

What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy.

現在正是你趁虛而入的時候

It's time for you to swoop in.

什么？現在？

What? Now?

沒錯，現在趁虛而入

Yes. Now is when you swoop.

你得成為保羅走后

You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out...

瑞秋看見的第一個男人

...the first guy Rachel sees is you.

她必須知道你擁有 他沒有的一切

She's got to know that you're everything he's not.

就像“反保羅”一樣

You're like... Like the anti-Paolo.

我這位朋友說得沒錯

My Catholic friend is right.

她傷心欲絕時 你在她身旁守候著

She's distraught. You're there for her.

收拾殘局 然后堂堂邁入

You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in:

“羅斯年代”

The Age of Ross.

等等…

RACHEL: See this? See?

- 怎么了？ - 別看

- How's it going? - Don't stare.

她剛把衣服倒完

She just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony.

現在只剩“短兵相接”

Now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving.

這是代表“你竟敢” 或是“波霸”

Okay, that is either, "How could you?" Or "Enormous breasts."

他進來了

Here he comes.

我是…

Uh, I am, uh...

…來道別的

...to say goodbye.

再見

Oh, okay, bye-bye.

保羅

Paolo.

我痛恨你背叛瑞秋 但我還有五份

I really hate you for what you did to Rachel. But I still have five of these...

所以以375度加熱 直到起司冒泡

...so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.

謝謝

Thanks

保羅，我只想告訴…

Paolo, I just wanna tell you...

我代表大家發言…

...and I think I'd speak for everyone when I say...

你們看她

PHOEBE: Oh. Just look at her.

各位，我認為一個人…

Oh, you guys, I really think only one of us should go out there...

…應該出去安慰她 - 你說的對

...so she's not overwhelmed. - Oh, right.

而且那個人就是我

And I really think it should be me.

嘿

BOTH: Hey.

你還好吧

You all right?

好多了

Oh. I've been better.

過來

Come here.

聽著

Listen...

你應得到更好的對象

...you deserve so much better than him.

懂嗎 我是說，一個…

You know? I mean, you...

懂得珍惜你的人在一起

You should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.

羅斯

Ross...

什么？

What?

我已對男生感到厭煩

I'm so sick of guys.

我不要再看到男生了

I don't want to look at another guy.

不要再想男生

I don't want to think about another guy.

不要再接近男生了

I don't even want to be near another guy.

呵

Huh.

- 羅斯，你真好 - 哦，呵呵

- Ross, you're so great. - Oh, ha, ha.

- 你還好吧？ - 你還好吧？

MONICA: Are you all right? PHOEBE: Are you okay?

一半一半

Medium. Heh.

餅干還有剩嗎 有

- Any cookies left? - Yeah.

呃，看吧，瑞秋

Heh. See, Rach, um...

詛咒全天下的男生并不能解決問題 不能一竿子打翻一船人

See, I don't think swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't.

你應該發展出更精密的審檢方式

I think what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.

不，我只想暫時自己一個人

No. No. I just need to be by myself for a while.

想清楚自己真正要的什么

You know? I just gotta figure out what I want.

不

No, no.

并非全天下的男人 都和保羅一樣

See, because not all guys out there are gonna be a Paolo.

我知道

No, I know. I know.

我也相信你兒子長大后 不會和他一樣

And I'm sure your little boy's not gonna grow up to be one.

- 什么？ - 什么？

- What? - What?

我生了個兒子？

I'm having a boy?

哦，不是

Uh, no.

不，實際上，你沒生兒子

No. In fact, you're not having a boy.

我生了個兒子

I'm having a boy.

我生了個兒子？

Am I having a boy?

- 你生了個兒子 - 啊

- You're having a boy. - Aah!

- 我生了個兒子 我生了個兒子 - 對

- I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy. - Yes!

- 什么？ - 怎么回事？

- What? - What is it?

我生了個兒子，我生了個兒子…

I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.

嗨

Hey.

我們早就知道了

We already knew that.

我生了個兒子

I'm having a son.

唔…

Um...

這叫“停工”

Yes. And that would be a shutdown.

“對方零分”

Shutout!

你們再干什么？再來一局

Where you guys going? Come on, one more game.

- 現在是凌晨2點半 - 對，出去

- Oh. It's 2:30 in the morning. - Yeah. Get out.

你們總是賴在我那邊

You guys are always hanging out in my apartment.

何不讓我用左手？

Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh?

來吧，懦夫

Come on, wussies.

- 好吧，我得走了 - 嗯-哼

- All right. Okay. I gotta go. - Mm-hm.

我要走了

I'm going.

我走了

And I'm gone.

- 再來一局 - 來吧

- One more game? - Oh, yeah.